Friday, 11 March 2011

@ PHIL First Draft of The Rapacious Refigerator

1 comment:

  1. Hi Andriana - I know we joked about the whole 'naked' thing - but it does seem as if it would make for a bigger punchline at the end of your story, if, when the fridge spits out your character, it has stripped him of his clothes, so that when Brenda arrives, it looks as if, far from having a romantic evening, the boyfriend looks ready for an entirely different sort of evening; for example, he could be spat out naked, with a rose between his teeth covered in double cream or similar. This just feels more like a 'disaster' - and this way, the fridge itself looks 'innocent', and the boyfriend looks like a sleaze. I think it would work far better if Brenda doesn't see the fridge misbehaving...